A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The character of a first minister of state in European courts. 再谈安妮女王统治下的英国；欧洲宫廷中一位首相大臣的性格。
My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives could incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for the sake of injuring their fellow-animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals; "that when a Yahoo had got a great store of this precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to; the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all these feats, our Yahoos thought they could never have enough of it to spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from their natural bent, either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man enjoyed the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of our people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for small wages, to make a few live plentifully." 主人还是完全不能理解为什么这一帮律师仅仅为了迫害自己的同类而自寻烦恼，而且不厌其烦地成立这么一个不义的组织；他更不明白为什么别人要雇用他们做这种事。于是我又只好想尽办法向他说明钱的用处，解释钱是由哪些材料制成的，各种不同金属的价值如何。我对他说，当一只“雅虎”储有大量这样的贵重物质时，他想买什么就都能买到，最好的衣服，最华丽的房屋以及大片的土地，最昂贵的酒肉，还可以挑选到最漂亮的女人。因为只要有钱就能得到所有这些好东西，所以我们的“雅虎”就认为，不论是花钱还是储蓄， 钱总是越多越好，没有个够，因为他们自己天性就是这样，不是挥霍浪费就是贪得无厌。富人享受着穷人的劳动成果，而穷人和富人在数量上的比例是一千比一。我们的大多数人被迫过着悲惨的生活，为了一点点报酬每天都得辛苦劳作，为的是能让少数人过富裕的生活。
I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to the same purpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he went upon a supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, "what these costly meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?" Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as came into my head, with the various methods of dressing them, which could not be done without sending vessels by sea to every part of the world, as well for liquors to drink as for sauces and innumerable other conveniences. I assured him "that this whole globe of earth must be at least three times gone round before one of our better female Yahoos could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in." He said "that must needs be a miserable country which cannot furnish food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was, how such vast tracts of ground as I described should be wholly without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending over the sea for drink." I replied "that England (the dear place of my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain trees, which made excellent drink, and the same proportion in every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries, whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping, flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning, whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like occupations;" every one of which terms I was at much pains to make him understand. 我在这些问题以及许多别的类似的细节上谈了很多，可主人阁下还要往下问，因为他是这样推想的：所有动物都有权享受一份地球上出产的东西，尤其是主宰其他动物的统治者更有享受的权利。因此他要我告诉他，那些昂贵的肉食到底是些什么肉？我们怎么偏偏就吃不到？我于是就把能想到的各种肉类一一列举出来，同时还列举了各种不同的烹调方法；如果不是派船只航海到世界各地去采办酒类、调料以及数不清的其他食品，这一切是办不到的。我对他讲，给我们的一只有钱的雌“雅虎”做一顿早餐或者预备一只盛早餐的杯子，至少得绕地球转三圈才能办到。他说，你们的国家既然不能提供给居民足够的食物，一定是一个极为贫苦的国家。但更使他感到奇怪的是，在像我描述的这么大片的土地上怎么竟然完全没有淡水，人们必须到海外去弄饮料？我回答说，英国（那是我亲爱的出生地）生产的粮食据估算是那里居民消费需求的三倍；从谷物中榨取或从某种树木的果实中压榨出的液体可制成极好的饮料，它们和每一样别的日常用品一样，也都是居民消费需求的三倍。但是，为了满足男人的奢侈无度和女人的虚荣，我们都把绝大部分的必需品送到国外去，而由此换回疾病、愚蠢、罪恶的材料供自己消费。于是我们大多数人就没有生存的依靠，只好靠讨饭、抢劫、偷窃、欺骗、拉皮条、作伪证、谄媚、教唆、伪造、赌博、说谎、奉承、威吓、搞选举、胡乱写文章、星象占卜、投毒、卖淫、侈谈、诽谤、想入非非以及各种相似的事来糊口过日子。这其中的每一个名词我都费了不少劲来让他明白。
"That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to supply the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of liquid which made us merry by putting us out of our senses, diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our fears, suspended every office of reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we fell into a profound sleep; although it must be confessed, that we always awaked sick and dispirited; and that the use of this liquor filled us with diseases which made our lives uncomfortable and short. 我又说，我们从国外进口酒并不是因为我们缺少淡水或其他饮料，而是因为酒是一种喝了可以使人糊里糊涂又心里痛快的液体。它可以排解心中忧愁，在脑海中唤起狂野奔放的想象，增加希望、驱除恐惧，使每一点理智暂时都失去效用，使我们的四肢暂时不能运动，直到昏昏睡去。可是有一点必须承认，一觉醒来总是精神萎靡，而总喝这种流体只会给我们带来疾病，使我们的生命痛苦而短暂。
"But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich and to each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as I ought to be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the building and furniture of my house employ as many more, and five times the number to adorn my wife." 然而除了所有这一切之外，我们的大多数人还得向富人提供日常必需品，或者互相之间提供这些东西，这样来维持自己的生活。比如我在家的时候，身上穿得有模有样，那身衣服就是一百名工匠的手艺；我的房子和里面的家具也同样需要这么多人来制造；把我的妻子打扮一下，则需要五百名工匠付出劳动。
I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions, informed his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases. But here it was with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. "He could easily conceive, that a Houyhnhnm, grew weak and heavy a few days before his death, or by some accident might hurt a limb; but that nature, who works all things to perfection, should suffer any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know the reason of so unaccountable an evil." 接下来我又谈到另一种人，他们是靠侍候病人来维持生活的，我在前面也曾有几次跟主人说过，我船上有许多水手就是因生病才死的。可是使他明白我的意思是极度困难的。他很容易理解一个“慧骃”在临死前几天会慢慢变得衰弱无力、行动迟缓，或者遇上什么意外会弄伤一条腿。可是，他认为大自然创造万事万物都达到完美的程度，绝对不会让我们的身体遭受任何痛苦，所以他就想知道如此难以理解的灾难的起因。
I told him "we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary to each other; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without the provocation of thirst;that we sat whole nights drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion; that prostitute female Yahoos acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of those who fell into their embraces;that this, and many other diseases, were propagated from father to son;so that great numbers came into the world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would be endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread over every limb and joint—in short, every part, external and intestine, having diseases appropriated to itself. To remedy which, there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or pretence, of curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the whole mystery and method by which they proceed. 我就对他说，我们吃的上千种东西互不相容；还有我们肚子不饿却还要吃，嘴巴不渴却只管喝；我们通宵达旦坐在那儿喝烈性酒，不吃一点东西，懒惰疲乏、身体发烧，不是消化太快就是消化停滞。卖淫的女“雅虎”身上有一种病，谁要是投进她们的怀抱就得烂骨头，而这种病和许多别的病一样，都是由父亲传给儿子的，所以许多人生到这个世上来，身上就已经带有种种复杂的疾病了。要是把人身上的所有疾病全都讲给他听，说都说不完，因为这些病不下五六百种。总之，人的四肢和每一个关节，身体的每一部分，外表还是内脏，都各有毛病。为了治病，我们中间就有一帮人专门治疗这些疾病，其中的一些人也只是骗人而已。因为我在这一行上有点本事，为了感谢主人对我的恩德，我愿意把那些人行医的秘密和方法全都说给他听。
"Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion; whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is necessary, either through the natural passage or upwards at the mouth. Their next business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices, sea-weed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, toads, frogs, spiders, dead men's flesh and bones, birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a composition, for smell and taste, the most abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately rejects with loathing, and this they call a vomit; or else, from the same store-house, with some other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the orifice above or below (just as the physician then happens to be disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it;and this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians allege) having intended the superior anterior orifice only for the intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by interchanging the use of each orifice;forcing solids and liquids in at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth. 他们的基本原理是：一切疾病都因为吃得多，因此他们认为有必要对身体内部来一次大清除，这样既可以通过自然排泄的渠道，也可以从上面的嘴里吐出来。他们的下一步就是，用药草、矿物质、树脂、油、贝壳、盐、果汁、海藻、粪便、树皮、蛇、癞蛤蟆、青蛙、蜘蛛、死人的肉和骨头、鸟、兽、鱼等等，想尽办法做成一种气味和味道都最令人难受、恶心和反感的混合物，一吃进胃里就叫你恶心得往外吐。这种混合物被他们称作催吐剂。他们又用同样的药物加上几样毒剂制成一种同样使肠胃受不了的药水，命我们从上面的孔（嘴）或者下面的孔（肛门）灌人肠子，从哪个孔灌要看医生当时的意向如何。这种药可把肚子里的东西全清理出来，他们管这种药叫泻药或者灌肠剂。据这些医生宣称，造物者本来是安排我们用长在前面的上孔（嘴）吃喝，用长在后面的下孔（肛门）排泄。这些医生聪明地认为，一切疾病的发生都是因为造物的安排一时全给强行打乱了，所以为了恢复正常秩序，就必须用一种完全相反的方法来治疗身体的疾病，即把上下孔对调使用——将固体和液体硬从肛门灌进去，而从嘴里排泄出来。
"But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures; these have their several names, and so have the drugs that are proper for them; and with these our female Yahoos are always infested. 但是，除了这些真正的疾病之外，我们还会生许多空想的病，对此医生们则发明了空想的治疗方法。这些病各有不同的名称，并且也有对症的药品。我们的雌“雅虎”们就老是会染上这样的病。
"One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics, wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when they rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is always in their power, when recovery is not; and therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after they have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to approve their sagacity to the world, by a seasonable dose. 这帮人都有超人的本领，能预测病症的后果，并且不大会弄错。当症状恶化，死亡已经迫近，病不会再好了，他们对这些疾病的预言总是很有把握。所以，要是他们已经宣判了病的死刑，而病人却出乎意料地渐有好转的迹象，他们也不会就这样任人去骂他们是骗子；他们知道如何及时地给病人用上一剂药就可以向世人证明，他们还是有先见之明的。
"They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grown weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of state, and often to princes." I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the nature of government in general, and particularly of our own excellent constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But having here accidentally mentioned a minister of state, he commanded me, some time after, to inform him, "what species of Yahoo I particularly meant by that appellation." 对自己的配偶已感到厌倦的丈夫或妻子，对长子、大臣，尤其是对君王，他们也都有特别的用处。我前面已经跟主人谈过政府的一般性质，特别是我们那优越的宪法，那真是值得全世界赞叹和羡慕的。这里我又偶然提到了大臣这个词，他就要我以后有机会再告诉他这样称呼这种“雅虎”究竟是什么意思。
I told him, "that a first or chief minister of state, who was the person I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes use of no other passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind; that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lie;nor a lie, but with a design that you should take it for a truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs are in the surest way of preferment;and whenever he begins to praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially when it is confirmed with an oath; after which, every wise man retires, and gives over all hopes. 我说，我要描述的这位首相大臣是这样一个人：他整个儿是哀乐无动于衷、爱恨不明、无同情心、不动怒；至少你可以说，他除了对财富、权力和爵位有强烈的欲望外，别的一概不动感情。他说的话怎么理解都可以，就是不表明他的心。他从来不说实话，除非想要你把它当成谎言；也从来不说谎，除非故意让你会信以为真。他在背后痛骂的一些人，实际上是他最喜欢的人；而每当他向别人或当你的面夸奖你时，从那天起你就要倒霉。最糟糕的是你得到了他的一个许诺，如果他在答应你的时候还发了誓，那就更糟了；之后，每一个聪明人都会自行引退，放弃一切希望。
"There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose of a wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining his predecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in public assemblies, against the corruptions of the court. But a wise prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the last of these methods; because such zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the will and passions of their master. That these ministers, having all employments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing the majority of a senate or great council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act of indemnity"(whereof I described the nature to him), (whereof I described the nature to him), "they secure themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from the public laden with the spoils of the nation. 一个人可以通过三种办法爬上首相大臣的位置。第一，他应该知道怎样深谋远虑出卖自己的妻女和姐妹；第二，背叛或者暗害前任首相大臣；第三，在公开集会上慷慨激昂地抨击朝廷的各种腐败。但是英明的君王喜欢挑选惯于采用第三种办法的人，因为事实证明，那些慷慨激昂的人总是最能曲意逢迎其主子的旨意和爱好。这些大臣一旦控制了所有的要职就会贿赂元老院或者大枢密院中的大多数人，最后，他们还借一种“免罚法”（我向他说明了这条法令的性质）以此来保全自己的势力。他们尽力保证自己事后免遭不测，满载着从国民身上贪污来的赃物从公职上悄然引退。
"The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and learn to excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid to them by persons of the best rank; and sometimes by the force of dexterity and impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be successors to their lord. 首相官邸是他培养同伙的学校：随从、仆人和看门人通过效仿其主子，也都在各自的区域内做起大官来。他们向主人学习蛮横、说谎和贿赂这三种主要本领而能更胜一筹。于是他们也就有了自己的小朝廷，受到贵族的奉承；有时他们还靠机巧和无耻，经过几代往上爬，终于做上了他们老爷的继承人。
"He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite footman, who are the tunnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom." 首相大臣往往受制于年老的荡妇或者自己的亲信男仆，那些人是传递恩宠的通道，归根究底，说他们是王国的统治者，倒是很恰当的。
One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the nobility of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I could not pretend to deserve: "that he was sure I must have been born of some noble family, because I far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the Yahoos of his nation, although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be imputed to my different way of living from those other brutes; and besides I was not only endowed with the faculty of speech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree that, with all his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy." 有一天，主人听我在谈话中谈到我国的贵族，他倒是说了我一句好话，不过我是不敢当。他说，他敢肯定我是出身于贵族家庭，因为我模样好、肤色白、身上干净，这几方面都远远超过他们国内所有的“雅虎”。虽然我似乎没有它们那样身强力壮、动作敏捷，可那是因为我的生活方式与那些畜生完全不一样。除此之外，我不但具有说话的能力，还有几分理性，所以他所有的相识都认为我是一个难得的人才。
He made me observe, "that among the Houyhnhnms, the white, the sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as the bay, the dapple-gray, and the black;nor born with equal talents of mind, or a capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own race, which in that country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural." 他叫我注意，“慧骃”中的白马、栗色马和铁青马样子长得跟火红马、深灰色斑纹马和黑马并不完全一样，智力天赋也不一样。它们没有变好的可能，所以只能永远处在仆人的地位。它们如果妄想出人头地，在这个国家中就要被认为是一件可怕而反常的事。
I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me, but assured him at the same time, "that my birth was of the lower sort, having been born of plain honest parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable education; that nobility, among us, was altogether a different thing from the idea he had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury; that, as soon as years will permit, they consume their vigour, and contract odious diseases among lewd females; and when their fortunes are almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth, disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of money), whom they hate and despise. That the productions of such marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or deformed children; by which means the family seldom continues above three generations, unless the wife takes care to provide a healthy father, among her neighbours or domestics, in order to improve and continue the breed. That a weak diseased body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust appearance is so disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his mind run parallel with those of his body, being a composition of spleen, dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride. 主人十分看重我，对此我向他表示万分感激；不过我同时又告诉他自己实际上出身低微，父母都是普普通通的老实人，勉强能使我受到还说得过去的教育。我说我们那里的贵族跟他想象的完全不一样。我们的年轻贵族从孩子时代起就过着游手好闲、奢侈豪华的生活；成年以后，他们就在淫荡的女人中消耗精力，并染上一身恶病；当他的财产快要耗尽时就娶一个出身卑贱、脾气乖戾而身体虚弱女人做妻子（仅仅为了钱的缘故），其实他对这女人是既恨又瞧不起。这种婚姻的产物，生下来的孩子通常不是患瘰疬病、佝偻病、就是残废。做妻子的如果不注意在邻居或佣人中给她的孩子找一个身体强健的父亲以改良品种传宗接代的话，那这家人一般是传不到三代就要断子绝孙。身体虚弱多病、面貌瘦削苍白是贵族血统的真正的标志。健康强壮的外表在一位贵族看来反倒是一种极大的耻辱， 因为世人会认为他真正的父亲一定是个马夫或者车夫。他的头脑也和身体一样大有缺陷，那是古怪、迟钝、无知、任性、荒淫和傲慢的合成品。
"Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be enacted, repealed, or altered; and these nobles have likewise the decision of all our possessions, without appeal." 不得到这一帮贵族的同意，任何法令都不能施行，既不能废除，也不能修改。这些贵族还对我们所有的财产拥有决定权，而不用征求我们的意见。