The author at his master's command, informs him of the state of England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The author begins to explain the English constitution. 作者奉命向主人报告有关英国的情况；欧洲君主之间发生战争的原因；作者开始解释英国宪法。
The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of many conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of the most material points which were discoursed at several times for above two years; his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, as I farther improved in the Houyhnhnm tongue. I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the substance of what passed between us concerning my own country, reducing it in order as well as I can, without any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do justice to my master's arguments and expressions, which must needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a translation into our barbarous English. 请读者注意，以下我同主人多次谈话摘录，包括了两年多的时间里我们几次交谈的最重要内容。我学习“慧骃”语有了很大的进步，主人阁下就常要我更详细地谈一谈，使他听得更满意一些。我尽可能地把整个欧洲的情况都对他说了：我谈到了贸易和制造业，艺术和科学；凡是我主人提出的问题，我都做了回答。因为这些问题涉及到许多学科，是丰富的谈话资料，一时也说不完。不过，我这里只想说一下我们所谈到的关于我的祖国的情况，我将尽量有系统地加以叙述，但不受时间先后或其他情况的限制，同时我也严格要求符合事实。令我唯一担忧的是，我可能很难表达好主人的论点和看法，因为我能力不够，而又不得不把他的话译成我们这粗俗的英语。
In obedience, therefore, to his honour's commands, I related to him the Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long war with France, entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the present queen, wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still continued. I computed, at his request, "that about a million of Yahoos might have been killed in the whole progress of it; and perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and five times as many ships burnt or sunk." 然后我奉主人阁下的命令，给他讲述了奥林奇亲王领导的革命和对法国所进行的长期战争；那次战争是亲王发动的，之后由他的继承人——当今女王重新开战，基督教国家的最强力量都参战了，战争至今仍在进行之中。我根据他的要求算了一下，整个战争过程中，大约有一百万只“雅虎”被杀，一百多座城市被毁， 五百多艘战舰被焚毁或击沉。
He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to war with another?" I answered "they were innumerable; but I should only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of ministers, who engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration. Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean;with many more. Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent. 他问我，一个国家和另一个国家交战通常是有原因或者有动机的吗？我回答说原因是数不尽的，不过我能把几个主要的提一提。有时是因为君王们野心勃勃，总认为在他们的统治下地面不够大，人口不够多；有时是因为大臣们的贪污腐化，唆使主子陷入战争，以此可以压制或者转移老百姓对他们腐败的行政管理的强烈抗议。意见不合也曾导致千百万人丧生。比如说，到底圣餐中的面包是肉呢，还是肉就是面包；某种葡萄汁是血还是酒；吹口哨是坏事还是好事；十字架是吻它一下好呢，还是扔进火里更好；什么颜色的上衣最好，是黑的、白的、还是红的或是灰的；长一点好还是短一点；瘦一点还是肥一点？是脏一点还是干净一点好；还有许多。也没有什么战争能像由意见不合引起的战争来得那么凶残、血腥而持久，尤其是当他们在无关紧要的事情上意见不合。
"Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with another for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong; and sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things which we have, or have the things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a war, to invade a country after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into war against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render our dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince desires the assistance of another, to secure him against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the invader, should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or banish, the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes; and the nearer the kindred is, the greater their disposition to quarrel; poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of all others; because a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can. 有时两位君王为谁该夺取另一位君王的领土而发生争吵，但事实上他俩谁都不能声称有任何权利。有时一位君王跟另一位君王争吵，就因为他恐怕另一位君王要来跟他争吵。有时是因为敌方太强大了才发动战争，有时则是因为敌方太软弱。有时候是因为邻国没有的东西我们有，或者我们没有的东西他们有，结果双方打起来，直到他们俘虏了我们或向我们投降。如果一个国家的人民为饥荒、瘟疫所害，或者国内卷入党派纷争，这时发动战争侵略这个国家就有了十分正当的理由。如果我们最紧密的盟国有一座我们唾手可得的城市，或者有一块领域我们夺过来就可以使自己的疆土圆满完整，那我们就很有理由同他们打一仗。如果一个国家的人民贫穷、无知，那么另一国的君王把军队开入这个国家，就可以合理地将一半的人都处死，剩下的为奴隶，这么做是为了让他们开化，减少那野蛮的生活方式。一位君王请求另一位君王帮助他抵御另一国的侵略，这位帮助别人抵抗侵略者的君王把侵略者撵出去以后，把他前来援助的那位君王抓住，或杀，或监禁，或流放，把他的领地据为己有；这样的事经常发生，这样的行为不失为十分高贵光荣的君王之道。血缘或者婚姻结盟也常常是君王之间发生战争的原因，关系越亲就越容易引起争吵；穷国挨饿，富国骄横，骄横与饥饿则永不能相容。由于这种种原因，士兵这一职业在所有职业中最受人尊敬。士兵，也就是受雇佣来杀人的“雅虎”，无情地屠杀那些从来没有冒犯过他的同类，而且杀得越多越好。
"There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able to make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations, for so much a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths to themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance;such are those in many northern parts of Europe." 在欧洲还有一种穷得像叫花子一样的君王，自己无力发动战争，却把自己的军队出租给富有的国家，出租一个士兵每天收取很多租金；这项收入的四分之三归君王享有，而他们主要也就靠这部分收入来维持他们的开支；北欧许多国家的君王就属于这一类。
"What you have told me," said my master, "upon the subject of war, does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason you pretend to; however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the danger; and that nature has left you utterly incapable of doing much mischief. For, your mouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet before and behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our Yahoos would drive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I cannot but think you have said the thing which is not." 我的主人说：“你告诉我的有关战争这个问题的一切，足以说明你们自以为有理性所产生的后果；好在你们的行为危险性不大，只是卑鄙无耻而已；这一本质就使你们根本不可能造成很大的伤害。你们的嘴平平地长在脸上，除非彼此同意，相互之间很难咬得起来。再说你们的前后爪，又短又纤弱，我们的一只‘雅虎’就可以将你们的十二个赶跑。所以再重新计算一下在战争中伤亡的人数，我只能认为你所说的事实属乌有。”
I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks, undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling to death under horses' feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcases, left for food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey; plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to set forth the valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him, "that I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at once in a siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies drop down in pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of the spectators." 我不禁摇摇头，笑了笑，笑他没有见识。我对战争艺术并不外行，我给他描述加农炮、 重炮、滑膛枪、卡宾枪、手枪、子弹、火药、剑、刺刀、战役、围攻、撤退、进攻、挖地道、反地道、轰炸、海战、载有千名士兵的许多战舰被击沉，两军各有两万人丧生，临死时的呻吟，飞在半空中的肢体；硝烟，嘈杂，混乱，马蹄下人被践踏至死；逃跑，追击，胜利；尸横遍野，等着狗、狼其他猛兽来吞食；掠夺，抢劫，强奸，烧毁、毁灭。还有，为了表彰祖国同胞的英勇，我还告诉他自己曾经亲眼看到在某次围城战役中他们一下子就炸死一百个敌人，还看过他们在一艘船上也炸死了一百个敌人；看到被炸成粉碎的尸体从云里往下掉， 在一旁观看的人大为快意。
I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me silence. He said, "whoever understood the nature of Yahoos, might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to be capable of every action I had named, if their strength and cunning equalled their malice. But as my discourse had increased his abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind to which he was wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears, being used to such abominable words, might, by degrees, admit them with less detestation; that although he hated the Yahoos of this country, yet he no more blamed them for their odious qualities, than he did a gnnayh (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But when a creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream returns the image of an ill-shapen body, not only larger but more distorted." 我正要更为详细地讲下去时，主人突然吩咐我住嘴。他说任何了解“雅虎”本性的“慧骃”都不难相信，如此邪恶的动物，要是其体力和狡诈赶得上其凶残的性情，那么，我说到的每一件事他都可能做得出来。但是，因为我的谈话更增加了他对整个“雅虎”一族的厌恶，他倒觉得自己心神不宁起来，这种情况他以前从来都没碰到过的。他想自己的耳朵听惯了这种可恶的词儿会逐渐地接受了他们，而不再像原先那样对“雅虎”生厌了。他说自己确实憎恨这个国家的“雅虎”，然而虽然觉得可恶，比起一只残暴的“格拿耶”（一种猛禽）或一块割伤了自己蹄子的尖石头，也不见得更加可恶。可是，既然一只自以为有理性的动物能做出如此罪大恶极的事来，他怕理性的堕落比残暴本身要更糟糕。因此他似乎很肯定地认为，我们所拥有的并不是理性，而只是某种适合助长我们天生的罪恶的品性而已；仿佛一条被搅动的溪水，丑陋的影像映照出来不仅比原物大，还更加丑陋。
He added, "that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both in this and some former discourses. There was another point, which a little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that some of our crew left their country on account of being ruined by law; that I had already explained the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss how it should come to pass, that the law, which was intended for every man's preservation, should be any man's ruin. Therefore he desired to be further satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers thereof, according to the present practice in my own country; because he thought nature and reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in showing us what he ought to do, and what to avoid." 他又说，关于战争这个题目，他在这次以及前几次谈话中已经听得太多了。还有一点他现在还弄不太明白。我曾告诉过他，我们的水手中有些人是因为被法律弄得倾家荡产离开祖国的，而我也曾向他解释过法律一词的意思，所以他就不明白为什么保护人民的法律会使人家破人亡呢？因此他希望知道得更详细一点，根据我自己国家现行的法律，我所谓的法律和法律执行者到底是什么意思。正如我们自称的那样，他认为本性与理性足以指示一种理性的动物来告诉我们该干什么，不该干什么。
I assured his honour, "that the law was a science in which I had not much conversed, further than by employing advocates, in vain, upon some injustices that had been done me; however, I would give him all the satisfaction I was able." 我告诉主人：“法律这门科学我研究的很少，仅有一点法律知识还是因为有几次自己的权利受了侵害而去聘请律师得来的，结果请了他们也还是没有用。”
I said, "there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose, that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right, it being against all rules of law that any man should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right owner, lie under two great disadvantages: first, my lawyer, being practised almost from his cradle in defending falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be an advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And therefore I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is, to gain over my adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will then betray his client by insinuating that he has justice on his side. The second way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belong to my adversary; and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to know, that these judges are persons appointed to decide all controversies of property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from the most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy; and having been biassed all their lives against truth and equity, lie under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and oppression, that I have known some of them refuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office. 我说：“我们那里有一帮人从年轻时起就接受培养，学习怎样通过搬弄文字将白说成黑、黑说成白这么一种本领；他们怎么说全看你给他们多少钱而定。在这个社会上，其他人对他来说都是奴隶。比方说，我的邻居看中了我的一头母牛，他聘请一位律师来证明，他应该把牛从我这儿牵走。我也得聘请另一名律师来为我的权利辩护，因为任何人都不准为自己辩护，这样做违反法律的规定。现在，就这桩案子来说，我虽然作为母牛的合法主人，却有两大不利之处：第一，我的律师几乎从摇篮时代起就一直是为虚假辩护的，现在要他来为正义辩护，那他是很外行的；由于违反他的常规，即使他不对我怀有恶意，辩护起来也一定极不熟练。第二个不利之处是，我的律师还得谨慎从事，否则法官们会训斥他竟然使判决过程缩短。因此我只有两种办法来保住我的牛。第一是出双倍的钱将我对手的律师买通，他就会背叛本来的当事人，含沙射影地说他有公义心。第二种办法是让我的律师尽他所能使我的辩护看起来不公平，说那母牛就属于我的对手；如果这样做的很巧妙，结果法官肯定会支持我。现在阁下知道了，那些被任命判决所有财产和刑事案件的法官是从最精明的律师中挑选出来的。那些律师又老又懒，而且一辈子都对公正和公道持有强烈的偏见，所以极需搞偏袒、两面派和压制的手段；我知道他们其中的一些拒绝正义一方的收买，而是损害全体公民的利益，做任何与他们本性与他们工作不相配的事情。
"It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done before, may legally be done again; and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice, and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions; and the judges never fail of directing accordingly. 在这些律师中有这样一条准则，凡是有前例可援的事，再发生这样的事就算合法；所以他们特别注意记录所有以前做的违反普通公理和人类一般情理的裁决。在先例的名下，就把这些拿来当权威，使最偏私的意见公正合理化；而且所作出的裁决都是称心如意的。
"In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the case already mentioned, they never desire to know what claim or title my adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were red or black; her horns long or short; whether the field I graze her in be round or square; whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she is subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an issue. 在辩护时，他们故意避而不谈案件的本质，而是大着嗓门、言辞激烈、啰啰嗦嗦地大谈特谈与案件毫不相干的其他所有情况。例如，在上面提到的案子中，他们根本不想知道我的对手有什么理由或权利要占有我那头母牛，却只是问那母牛是红色还是黑色；牛角是长还是短；我放牧的那块地是圆还是方；是在家挤奶还是在户外挤奶，那牛容易得什么病等一类的。问完之后，他们就去查以前的判例，一再把案子搁置，等过了十年、二十年、三十年之后才给结论。
"It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors for six generations belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred miles off. 还有一点值得注意，这帮人有自己的行话，外人是无法理解的，他们所有的法律条文就都用这样的术语撰写，而且还特别注意对法律进行增订。依靠这些东西，他们把真和假、对和错的实质差不多全都混淆了。所以他们也许要花上三十年的时间来裁决，六代祖传到我手上的一块地到底是属于我，还是属于三百英里外的那个外乡人。
"In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the method is much more short and commendable: the judge first sends to sound the disposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due forms of law." 他们审叛国罪犯的方法却简单得多，这倒是很值得称道的。法官先要了解一下有权人的意见，然后很容易地判绞死还是赦免罪犯，同时还严格遵守了所有规定的法律形式。
Here my master interposing, said, "it was a pity, that creatures endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers, by the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge." In answer to which I assured his honour, "that in all points out of their own trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert the general reason of mankind in every other subject of discourse as in that of their own profession." 说到这里，我的主人插嘴说，照我描述的情形来看，像律师这样才能出众的人，你们却不鼓励他们去教导别人，传授智慧和知识，的确是一件可惜的事。我听完他这话回答说，从他们这个行业所有的事情来看，他们通常是我们中最无知、最愚蠢的一代，从事的是一般谈话中最卑鄙的行业，是一切知识学问的公开敌人。在谈论每一个话题的时候，他们都会像在本行业务中的表现那样，违反人类的普遍理性。