The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors employ themselves. 作者得到许可去参观拉格多大科学院；科学院概况的叙述；教授们所研究的学术。
This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste, was purchased and applied to that use. I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms. 这所科学院不是一整座独立的建筑物，而是一条大街的两排房子，因为年久失修，才买下来做了这种用途。院长很客气的接待了我，我就在科学院里呆了好几天。每一个房间里都有一位或一位以上的设计家，而这里的房间绝对在五百间以上。
The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that, in eight years more, he should be able to supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate; but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me "to give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers. " I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who go to see them. 我见到的第一个人形容枯槁，双手和脸都像被烟熏的一般黑，头发、胡子全都很长，衣衫褴褛，有几处都被火烤糊了。他的外衣、衬衫和皮肤全是一种颜色。他八年来一直在从事一项设计，就是想从黄瓜里提取阳光，把黄瓜装到密封的小玻璃瓶里，遇到阴雨湿冷的夏天，就可以放出来让空气温暖。他告诉我，他坚信再有八年就可以向总督的花园提供阳光了，当然价格要合理。不过他又抱怨原料不足，请求我给他点援助作为对他设计才能的鼓励，特别是因为现在这个季节，黄瓜价格特别贵。我就送了他一份小小的礼物，因为我那位老爷特意给我准备了钱，他知道这些设计院的人素来都是向所有参观者要钱的。
I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me forward, conjuring me in a whisper "to give no offence, which would be highly resented;" and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the most ancient student of the academy; his face and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed over with filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I could well have excused. His employment, from his first coming into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol barrel. 我走进了另一间屋子，却差点儿被一种臭气熏倒，正准备要退出来。我的向导催促我往前走，悄悄地告诉我不要得罪他们，要不他们会恨我入骨的，吓得我连鼻子都不敢堵。这间屋里的设计家是科学院里资历最高的学者，他的脸和胡子呈淡黄色；手上、衣服上布满了污秽。别人把我介绍给他的时候，他紧紧拥抱了我，我当时实在可以找个借口不受他这种礼遇的。自从他到科学院工作以来，就是在研究怎样把人的粪便还原为食物。他的方法是把粪便分成几个部分，去除胆汁的颜色，让臭气蒸发，再把浮着的唾液除去。每星期人们供应他大约一布里斯托尔酒桶那么大桶的粪便。
I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of fire, which he intended to publish. 我看到另外一个人在做把冰烧成火药的工作。他还给我看了他撰写的一篇关于火的可锻性的论文，打算发表。
There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider. 还有一位最巧妙的建筑师发明了一种建造房屋的新方法，就是先从屋顶开始建造，自上而下一路盖到地基。他用蜜蜂和蜘蛛这两种最精明的昆虫的相同举动来向我证明。
There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity. 有一个天生的盲人和几个盲徒弟，他们的工作是为画家调颜色。他们的老师教他们靠触觉和嗅觉来区分不同的颜色。真是不幸，那一阵子我发现他们的功课学得很不到家，教授自己都老是出错。不过这位艺术家在全体研究人员中极受鼓励和推崇。
In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung; it is true, upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great, and they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this invention may be capable of great improvement. 在另一个房间里，我饶有兴致地看到有位设计家发明了用猪耕地的方法，来节省犁和牲口的费用，也省劳力。这方法是这样的：在一亩地里，每隔六英寸，在八英寸深的地方埋上一些橡子、枣子、栗子和这种动物最爱吃的其他山毛榉果及蔬菜，然后把六百头或者更多的猪赶到地里去。几天后，猪为了寻找食物就会把土全部翻遍，这样不仅适于下种，猪的粪便也上好了肥料。经过实验，他们发现费用太高又太费事，而且几乎得不到收成。可大家都相信这一发明大有改进的可能。
I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to disturb his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake the world had been so long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they understood how to weave, as well as spin." And he proposed further, "that by employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly saved;" whereof I was fully convinced, when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us "that the webs would take a tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength and consistence to the threads. " 我走进了另一个房间，这里边除了有条狭小的通道供学者进出，墙上天花板上还挂满了蜘蛛网。我刚一进门，他就大声叫喊，让我不要碰坏他的蜘蛛网。他悲叹世人长久以来一直用蚕丝是个极大的错误，而他这里许多的家养昆虫都比蚕不知要好多少倍，因为它们既懂得织又懂得纺。他又进一步建议说，要是用蜘蛛，织网的费用就可以全部省下来。这一点，在他把一大堆颜色极其漂亮的飞虫给我看了过后，我就完全明白了。他用这些飞虫喂蜘蛛，能够确保蛛网的颜色从这些飞虫身上出来，又因为各种颜色的飞虫都有，就能满足每个人的不同喜好。只要他能给飞虫找到适当的食物，如树脂、油或者其他什么粘性的物质，他就能够使蜘蛛纺出来的丝线牢固而坚韧。
There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind. 还有一位天文学家，设计在市政厅房顶的大风标上安装一架日晷，用来校正地球与太阳在一年中和一天中的运转，使它们能和风向的意外转变和谐一致。
I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided, who was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations from the same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient;then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb strongly against the orifice of the fundament; and this being repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out, bringing the noxious along with it (like water put into a pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former. After the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion. The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to recover him, by the same operation. 我忽然感到一阵腹痛，于是被向导带到了一间屋里，那儿住着一位以治疗这种毛病而闻名的杰出医生。他能用同一种器具施行作用相反的两种手术。他有一个很大的、装有一个细长象牙嘴的手用吹风器。他把这象牙嘴插入肛门内八英寸就可以将肚子里的气吸出来，能把肚子吸得又细又长，就像膀胱里干干瘪瘪，什么也没有一样。不过要是病情来得又顽劣又剧烈，他就要把吹风器先鼓满气再将象牙嘴插入肛门，把气打进病人的体内，然后抽出吹风器重新将气装满，同时用大拇指紧紧地堵住肛门。这样重复打上三四次，打进去的气就会喷出来，毒气就被一同带出（就像抽水机一样），病人的病也就好了。我看到他在一只狗的身上做了这两种试验，但是第一种不见任何效果。经过第二个试验后，那畜生胀得简直要炸了，接着就猛放了一个屁，可把我和我的同伴熏坏了。狗当场就死了，我们走的时候，那医生还在设法用同样的手术来营救它！
I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity. 我还参观了许多其他稀奇古怪的房间，但是我很想把事情说得简单一点，这里就不再向读者一一说明了。
I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who is called among them "the universal artist." He told us "he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; others softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others petrifying the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two great designs: the first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked sheep, all over the kingdom. 至此，我只参观了科学院的一个部门，另一个部门是专门辟给倡导沉思空想的学者们使用的。我应该说说这些学者，但先让我来介绍一位著名的、在他们中被称作“全才大师”的人物。他告诉我们，三十年来他一直在研究怎样才能改善人类的生活。他的两大间屋子里边放的都是些奇怪的东西，有五十个人在那里工作。有些人在从空气中提取硝酸钠，同时滤掉其中的液体分子，以此将空气凝结成干燥而可触摸的物质；有些人在研究把大理石软化做成枕头和毛毡；还有些人在研究把活马的马蹄弄僵，这样就不会跌断了。这位学者自己此时正忙着两个伟大的设计：第一个是用秕糠来种地，他坚持说秕糠有真正的胚胎作用；他还做了几项实验来证明自己的想法，不过我还是弄不明白，也许我太笨了。另一项计划是，在两头小羊的身上涂上一种树脂、矿石和蔬菜的混合物，不让羊长毛。他希望经过相当一段时间之后能繁殖出一种无毛羊推广到全国各地。
We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided. 我们走过通道到了科学院的另一部分，我前面已经说过，空想的设计家就住在这里。
The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth of the room, he said, "perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, by practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head. Every one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from genius or study. " He then led me to the frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The superfices was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without any order. The professor then desired me "to observe; for he was going to set his engine at work." The pupils, at his command, took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down. 我见到第一位教授和他的四十名学生在一个很大的房间里。问候过后，他见我出神地望着那个占据了大半个房间的架子，就说他自己虽然不太明白，但是还在研究如何运用实际而机械的操作方法来改善人的思辨知识。世人不久就会感觉到它是有用的。他又自鸣得意地说还没有其他人想到过这么卓越不凡的计划呢。大家都知道，用常规的手段要想在艺术和科学上取得成就有多么的艰苦，但如果用他的方法，就是最愚蠢的人只要付出相当的费用，再加上一点体力劳动，就可以不借助任何天才和学历，写出关于哲学、诗歌、政治、法律、数学和神学的书来。接着他领我走到了架子前，架子的四边都一排排站着他的学生。这架子放在房子的正中间，二十英尺见方。表面是由许多木块构成的，每一块大约有骰子那么大，不过有些比其他的大一点。这些木块全都用细绳连在一起。每一面上都贴着一张纸，纸上写满了他们语言中的词。这些词都按照不同的语态、时态和变格写了出来，不过并不按次序排列。教授接下来要我注意看，因为他现在准备开动机器了。一声令下，学生们各抓住了一个铁把手。架子的四边装有四十个把手，每个学生转动一个把手，单词的布局就全部改变了。接着他就吩咐三十六个学生轻轻地念出架子上出现的一行行文字。只要有三四个词连起来可以凑成一个句子，他们就念给剩下的四名做抄写员的学生听。这一工作要重复三四次。由于机器那样的构造，每转动一次，木方块就彻底翻个身，上面的文字也就会换到其他位置。
Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their several collections. 这些年轻的学生一天把六个小时花在这项劳动上；教授把几卷大对开本的书拿给我看，里边已经收集了不少支离破碎的句子，他打算把它们全都拼凑到一起，用这丰富的材料编撰一部包括所有文化和科学门类的全书，贡献给这个世界。不过，如果公众能筹一笔资金在拉格多制造五百个这样的机器来从事这种工作，同时要求管理这些机器的人把各自搜集到的资料贡献出来，那么这项工作将会得以改进，并且可以加速完成。
He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech." 他信誓旦旦地对我说，自己从年轻的时候起就一门心思全都用到这项发明上来了。他已经把所有的词汇都写到了架子上，并对书中出现的虚词、名词和动词与其他词类的一般比例做了最精确的计算。
I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for his great communicativeness; and promised, "if ever I had the good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the form and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it were the custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take such caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival. " 这位著名人物毫无保留地说了许多，我万分谦恭地向他表示了感谢。我又向他保证：要是自己有幸还能回到祖国去，一定会说句公道话，就说他是这架神奇机器的唯一发明者。我还请求他准许我把这机器形状和构造描画到纸上，在这里附上此图。我告诉他欧洲学者有互相剽窃发明成果的习惯，如果让他们知道有这么一架机器，就会争着要做这架机器的发明者，好占点儿便宜。但我一定会多加小心，让他独享盛名，叫人无法同他竞争。
We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat in consultation upon improving that of their own country. 接着我们来到了语言学院。三位教授正坐在那儿讨论如何改进本国的语言。
The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms. 第一项计划是简化言辞，将多音节词缩成单音词节，还有省去动词和分词，因为一切可以想象到的东西事实上全是名词。
The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, in some degree, a diminution of our lungs by corrosion, and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were necessary to express a particular business they are to discourse on." And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies to science are the common people. However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down their loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an hour together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume their burdens, and take their leave. 另一项计划则是，无论什么词汇一概废除。他们主张这项计划是因为不论从健康的角度考虑还是从简练的角度考虑，这一计划都大有好处。因为大家都清楚，我们每说一个词，或多或少会对肺部有所侵蚀，这样也就缩短了我们的寿命。因此他们就想出了一个补救的办法：既然词只是事物的名称，那么大家在谈到具体事情的时候，把表示那具体事情所需的东西带在身边，不是来得更方便吗？本来这一发明肯定早就实现了，这对于这个国家的臣民有莫大的方便，对他们的健康也大有裨益，但是妇女们联合了一般大众和文盲，要求像他们的祖先那样能有用嘴说话的自由，否则就要起来造反。这样的俗人常常就是科学势不两立的敌人。不过，许多最有学问、最有智慧的人还是坚持这种以物示意的新方法。这方法只有一点不便，就是，如果一个人要办的事很大，种类又很多，那他就必须相应地要将一大捆东西背在身上，除非他有足够的钱能雇上一两个身强力壮的佣人随侍左右。我就常常看到有两位大学问家背上的负荷压得他们腰都快断了，就像我们这里的小贩子一样。如果他们在街上相遇，就会把背上的东西放下来，然后打开背包一起谈上个把钟头。最后，他们收起各自的东西，互相帮忙将包裹重新背上，然后分手道别。
But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company meet who practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse. 但是，如果谈话时间简短，那人只要把工具放在口袋里或者夹在腋下也就够用了；如果是在家中，那他就不会茫然不知所措了。因此用这种方式交谈的人在房间里准备了种种谈话时所需的东西，并且都放在手边。
Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it would serve as a universal language, to be understood in all civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers. 这种发明还有一大优点：它可以作为所有文明国家都能通晓的一种世界性语言，因为每个国家的货物和器具，一般说来都是相同或是相似的，所以它们的用途也就很容易明白。这样，驻外大使们就是对别国的语言一窍不通，仍然有资格同外国的君王或大臣谈判。
I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition, and demonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days following, eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the proposition along with it. But the success has not hitherto been answerable, partly by some error in the quantum or composition, and partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an abstinence, as the prescription requires. 我还到了数学学院，那里的先生用一种我们欧洲人很难想象的方法教学生。命题和证明都清楚地用头皮一样颜色的墨水写在薄薄的饼干上。这饼干学生得空腹吞食下去，以后三天，除面包和水之外什么都不准吃。饼干消化之后，那颜色就会带着命题往上走，到达了他的大脑。不过迄今为止还没有成功，一方面是因为墨水的量或者成份有错误，另一方面也因为小孩子们顽劣不驯，这么大的药片吃下去总觉得太恶心，所以常常是偷偷地跑到一边，不等药性发作就朝天把它吐了出来。他们也不听劝告，不愿像处方上要求的那样实行长时间禁食。