Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations thereon. 作者讨好国王和王后的几种方法；作者表现了他的音乐才能；作者叙述关于国王询问英国的情况；国王的意见。
I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country, was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless; neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another. 每星期我经常要有一两天大清早去朝见国王，这时候我经常看到理发师在给他剃胡子，初次看见这情景的确很可怕，因为那把剃刀差不多有两把普通镰刀那么长。这个国家有个风俗习惯，就是国王每星期只刮两次胡子。有一次，我说服理发师把刮胡子刮下来的肥皂沫给我一点，我从中挑选了四五十根最粗硬的胡子茬。接着我找了一块好木头，把它削成梳子背模样，又向格兰姆达尔克立契要了一根最小的针，等距离地在梳背上钻了几个小孔。我很巧妙地将胡子茬嵌在上面，然后用小刀把胡子茬削得尖尖的，这样就做成了一把很不错的梳子。我自己原来那把梳子的齿大多断了，几乎不能用，所以新梳子做得正及时。我知道这个国家里也不会有什么工匠能那样精巧，会照我原来那梳子的样儿替我另做一把。
And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me the combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a present of them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are fond of. 这使我想起了一件好玩的事来，我空闲时的许多时光都花到了那上面。我请王后的侍女替我把给王后梳头时掉落的头发留起来。后来我还真积了不少。我和我的一位木匠朋友商量了一下，本来他是奉命来给我做点零活的，我指导他做了两个和我箱子里那几把椅子一样大小的椅子框架，又在我打算当椅背和椅面的那些部分的周围用钻子钻了许多孔。接着我挑选最粗壮的头发往孔里穿，就像英国人做藤椅那样编织起来。椅子做成，我就把它们当礼物送给了王后。她把椅子放在房间里，常常当稀奇之物拿给人看。看到椅子的人也确实没有一个不说稀奇的。王后要我坐到其中的一把椅子上去，我坚决地拒绝了，严肃申明自己宁死也不把身体的那个部分放到那些宝贵的头发上去——那可是曾经为王后的头增辉的东西啊！我又用这些头发（由于我对机械方面有一定的才能）做了一只约有五英尺长、样子很好看的小钱包，并且用金线把王后的名字织了上去。征得王后的同意后，我将钱包送给了格兰姆达尔克立契。说实话，这只钱袋只能供观赏而并不实用，它连稍微大一点的钱币都经不住，所以没敢把什么东西放进去，只放了一些小姑娘们喜欢的小玩意。
The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear them; but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window curtains; after which I found their music not disagreeable. 国王爱好音乐，经常在宫里开音乐会。他们有时也把我带去放在箱子里，再搁到桌上去听演奏，可是声音大的令我简直分辨不出那是些什么曲调。我相信皇家军队所有的鼓与号凑着你的耳朵一起吹打，也没有这里的声音大。我通常只能让人把我的箱子从演奏者坐的地方搬开，越远越好，然后关上门窗放下窗帘，这才觉得他们的音乐还不难听。
I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance. 年轻时我曾学过一点古钢琴。格兰姆达尔克立契房里就有一架琴，一名教师每星期来教她两次。我之所以管那琴叫古钢琴，是因为它样子有点像古钢琴，而且弹奏的方法也一样。一次我忽发奇想，想用这件乐器给国王和王后弹一首英国的曲子。可这件事似乎太难办到了，因为那架古钢琴将近六十英尺长，一个键差不多就是一英尺宽，就是我两臂伸直，最多也只能够着五个琴键；并且将琴键按下去也得用拳头猛砸才行，那样又费力又没有什么效果。我想出的办法是这样的：我准备了两根和普通棍棒差不多大小的圆棍，一头粗一头细，粗的一头用老鼠皮裹起来，这样敲起来既不会伤琴键表面，也不会妨碍音乐。琴前面放一张长凳，比键盘大约低四英尺，让人把我放到长凳上。我就在上面斜着身子来回跑，一会儿跑到那边，一会儿又跑到这边，尽快拿两根棍子敲打着应该敲打的键盘，设法演奏了一首快步舞曲。国王和王后听了非常满意，可这对我来说却是一生中所做的最剧烈的运动了。就是这样，我也只能敲到十六个键，不能像别的艺术家那样同时弹奏出低音和高音。这是我演奏的最大缺陷。
The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet; he would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, "that the contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give him as exact an account of the government of England as I possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might deserve imitation." 我以前也说过国王是一位很有见识的君王。他常常吩咐把我连箱子一块拿到他房间里去，放到桌上之后，再命令我从箱子里搬出一张椅子来，要我坐在箱子顶上离边沿三码内的地方，这样我就和他的脸差不多一边高了。我和他以这样的方式交谈了几次。有一天，我坦率地对他说，他对欧洲及世界上其他地方表现出的鄙视似乎与他超人的智力不大相称。人并不是躯体大，思维理性就发达。恰恰反反，在我们国家，我们觉得最高的人往往最没有头脑。在其他动物里，蜜蜂、蚂蚁与许多大一点儿的动物比起来，更具有勤劳、有技能和伶俐的好名声。所以，虽然在他眼中我是无足轻重的，我倒还希望有生之年能为我王陛下建功立业。国王仔细地听我说着，开始对我逐渐地比以前更有好感。他要我尽可能详细地给他说说关于英国政府的情况。虽然君王们一般都喜欢他们自己的制度（他从我以前的谈话中推想，别的君主也都是这样的），他却也乐意听听有什么值得效法的。
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to its merits and felicity. 可敬的读者，你替我想想看，那时我曾多么渴望自己有雄辩家狄摩西尼斯或者演说家西塞罗的口才啊！那样的话，我就能够用最恰当的语言和最精美的词句来歌颂我亲爱的祖国。
I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of an illustrious body called the House of Peers, persons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people. 我一开始就告诉国王，我国领土包括两个岛屿，三大王国统归一位君主治理，此外在美洲我们还有殖民地。我详细地说很久我们那肥沃的土地和温和的气候。接下来我详尽地谈了英国议会的宪法体制；议会的一部分由一个著名的团体组成，称为上议院；上议院成员有最高贵的血统，最古老、最富足的祖传产业。我又描述了这些人在文武方面都一直受到特殊的教育，使他们有资格做国王或王国的参议员；使他们能够参与国家立法；使他们就任最高法庭的法官，在那里所有上诉都能得到合理处理；使他们具有英勇、端正、忠诚的品格，时时准备捍卫君主和国家利益。他们是王国的光荣和栋梁，配做他们闻名遐迩的祖先的后代；他们的先人因具有种种美德而享有盛名，子孙后代就因此一直兴旺不衰。除这些人之外，上议院中还有一部分人是享有主教称号的圣职人员，他们的专门职责是管理宗教事务，带领教士向人民宣传。这些人由国王及最英明的顾问在全国范围内，从生活最圣洁、学识最渊博的教士中寻找和选拔出来的，他们不愧是教士和人民的精神领袖。
That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed. 议会的另一部分称为下议院，下议员都是些重要的绅士，由人民自由选举产生，因为他们的卓越才能和强烈的爱国心理能够代表全民的智慧。这两院人士组成了欧洲最威严的议会；整个立法机关就交由他们和君主一起掌管。
I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in England for about a hundred years past. 我接下来把话题转向了法庭：法官们都是些德高望重而又通晓法律的人，他们主持审判，对人们的权利及财产纠纷作出判决，同时惩恶扬善、保护无辜。我还提到了我国节俭的财政管理制度，提到了我国海陆军队的勇武与战绩。我先估算一下我们每个教会或政党大约拥有几百万人，然后再统算出我国的总人口是多少。我甚至没有忘记提到了我们的体育和娱乐以及其他每一件琐事，只要我认为能为国增光的都没有遗漏。最后我对英国近百年来的主要事件作了一番简要的历史性叙述。
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions he intended to ask me. 皇帝召见我五次才谈完这些事，每次历时几个小时。我谈的一切国王都听得很仔细，他还不时地记些笔记，把要问我的问题写在备忘录上。
When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "what methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the properties of their fellow subjects in the last resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had never been compliers with the times, while they were common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted into that assembly?" 我这几次长篇谈话结束以后，国王在第六次召见我的时候，就一边对照着笔记，一边逐条逐项提出了他的许多疑点、质问和不同意见。他问我们用什么方法来培养年轻贵族的身心，他们在早年那最可以受教育的时期一般做些什么。一旦有一个贵族绝了子嗣，采取什么方法来补充这个缺额？新封的贵族应该具备一些什么样的资格和条件？会不会由于国王一时心血来潮，或者给哪位宫廷贵妇或首相行一笔贿赂，或者违反公共利益为了计划加强一党势力，这种种动机都能使这些人升为贵族。这些新贵对本国的法律具备了哪些知识？他们怎样获得的这些知识？如果没有其他办法只得上法庭时，他们又怎样来裁判他们同胞的财产纠纷？难道他们从不贪婪、偏私、不缺钱花就不会接受贿赂，不会搞什么阴谋诡计？我说到的那些神职官僚是否总是根据他们对宗教事务具有的知识和他们生活的圣洁才被提升到那样的高位呢？他们还是普通教士时就从未随波逐流吗？就未曾依附贵族门下充当低贱无行的牧师吗？选进议会后，他们难道不是继续对贵族的意志百依百顺吗？
He then desired to know, "what arts were practised in electing those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? Because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere." And he desired to know, "whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?" He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat. 接下来他还特别想知道，选举被我称为下院议员的那些人会用什么样的方法？一个外乡人，如果他腰包里有的是钱，是否就可以左右那些一般选民投他的票，而不选举自己的地主或在邻近地区最重要的绅士呢？我承认这事既很麻烦又很费钱，没有薪金和年俸的人往往因此弄得倾家荡产，可是人们为什么还要那样强烈地渴望往这个议会里挤呢？这看起来像是大家品德极高，有为公众服务的精神，但国王却怀疑那是否总是出于真诚。他还想知道，是否这样热心的绅士会考虑以牺牲公众利益来迎合一位软弱、邪恶的君主和腐败内阁的意志，从而补偿自己破费的金钱和精力。他又问了许多别的问题，并且就这个题目从各方面来细细地拷问我，提出了无数的疑问和异议。不过我觉得不适合也不方便复述他的话。
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty desired to be satisfied in several points; and this I was the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, "what time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?" 关于我谈到的我国法庭的情况，国王也想了解几点；这一点上我比较能够胜任，因为我从前曾在大法官法庭上打过一场历时很久的官司，花了不少钱才得到判决，几乎搞得倾家荡产。他问我裁决一件案子的是非一般需要多少时间，得花多少钱。如果判案明显不公平，故意与人为难或者欺压一方，辩护人和原告有没有申诉辩护的自由？发现教派或政党对执法的公正有影响吗？那些为人辩护的律师是否受过教育，对公平法是否具备常识？他们是否只了解一些省、一国或者其他地方性的习惯？那些自认为有解释法律的自由的律师或者法官们是否也参与起草那些法律呢？他们有没有过在不同的时间为同一桩案子一会儿辩护，一会儿又反驳，还援引先例来证明前后矛盾的意见？律师是富人还是穷人？他们为人辩护或发表意见是否有经济报偿呢？特别是，他们能不能被选为下院议员呢？
He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or six millions a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private person." He asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we found money to pay them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be richer than our kings." He asked, what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, "if we were governed by our own consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion, whether a private man's house might not be better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by half-a dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?" 他随后又对我国的财政管理进行攻击。他说，他认为我的记忆力很差；我计算我们的税收每年大概是五六百万，可我接下来又提到了各项开支，他就发现有时超支一倍还不止；这一点上他记的笔记非常具体详细，因为他说他自己本来倒是希望了解一下我们的做法或许对他是有用的，计算时不会被人欺蒙。但是，如果我对他说的是真的，他怎么也想不通一个王国怎么也会像单个人那样超支呢？他问我谁是我们的债权人，我们又上哪里去弄钱来还债呢？他听我说到那些费用浩大的大规模战争时感到惊讶，说想必我们是一个好争吵的民族，要不就是我们的四邻都是些坏人，而我们的将军肯定比国王还有钱。他问，除了进行贸易、订立条约或者出动舰队保卫海岸线之外，我们在自己岛国以外的地方还做什么事。最令他感到疑惑不解的是，他听我说起正处于和平时期，我们居然还要在一个国外自由的民族中招募一支常备军。他说，如果统治我们的是经过我们自己认可的代表，他想象不出来我们还要怕谁？又要同谁去战斗？他说愿意听听我的意见：一个人的家由他自己或 者子女家人来保护，难道不强似用少许钱到街上胡乱找六七个流氓来保护吗？这些流氓要是把全家人都杀了，不就可以多赚一百倍的钱吗？
He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics." He said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials." 我通过计算几个教派和政党的人数推算出我国的人口总数。他笑话我这种奇怪的计算方法，说这方法真是离奇。他说他不明白那些对公众存有偏见的人为什么必须改变自己的主张或者必须把自己的主张隐瞒起来。无论哪一届政府要是强迫人改变意见，那就是专制；但政府要是做不到令人收起偏见则又是软弱。虽然可以允许一个人在自己家里私藏毒药，却不能让他拿毒药当兴奋剂去四处兜售。
He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon others?" 他又说，我谈到贵族绅士的娱乐活动时曾经提到了赌博。他想知道，他们大约是什么年龄开始玩这种游戏？玩到什么时候才不玩？要玩掉他们多少时间？会不会玩到倾家荡产？卑鄙邪恶的人会不会因玩这种游戏的手段高明而变成巨富，以至我们的贵族老爷有时也得依赖他们，终日与下流人为伍，完全不思上进呢？贵族老爷们赌输之后会不会也去学那些卑劣手段并用之于他人呢？
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him of our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition, could produce." 他对我叙述的我国近百年来的大事记感到十分惊讶。他断然宣称，那些事不过是一大堆阴谋、叛乱、暗杀、大屠杀、革命和流放，是贪婪、党争、虚伪、背信弃义、残暴、愤怒、疯狂、仇恨、嫉妒、淫欲、阴险和野心所能产生的最严重恶果。
His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself," continued the king, "who have spent the greatest part of your life in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth." 国王在他另一次召见我的时候又费尽苦心地将我所说的一切概括总结了一下。他把自己所提的问题与我的回答作了一番比较，接着把我拿到他手里，轻轻地摩挲着我，发表了这样一席话，这席话连同说话时的态度我永远也忘不了：“我的小朋友格里尔特里格，你给自己的祖国发表了一篇最为堂皇的颂词。你已十分清楚地证明——无知、懒散和恶行有时也许正是做一个立法者所必备的条件；那些有兴趣、有能力曲解、混淆和逃避法律的人才能最好地解释、说明和应用法律。我观察到你们有几条规章制度原本还是可行的，可是那一半已被废除了，剩下的全被腐败所玷污了。就你所说的看来，似乎在你们那儿获取任何职位都不需要完美道德，更不用说要有什么美德才能封爵了。教士地位升迁不是因为其虔诚或博学；军人晋级不是因为其品行或勇武；法官高升不是因为其廉洁公正；议会议员也不是因为其爱国，国家参政大臣也不是因为其智慧而得到升迁。”国王接着说：“至于你呢，你过了大半辈子旅行生涯，我很希望你到现在为止还未沾染上你那个国家的许多罪恶。但是，根据你自己的叙述以及我费了好大的劲才从你口里挤出的答案来看，我只能得出这样的结论——你的同胞中，大部分人是大自然从古到今在地面上爬行的小害虫中最有毒害的一类。”