The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master the farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf. 作者被送入宫中；王后从农民手里把作者买下来献给国王；他和皇家学者们辩论；朝廷为作者提供了一个房间；王后非常宠他；他为祖国的荣誉辩护；他和王后的侏儒吵嘴。
The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a very considerable change in my health: the more my master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a slardral, or gentleman usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, "whether I could be content to live at court?" I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly answered "that I was my master's slave: but, if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty's service." She then asked my master "whether he was willing to sell me at a good price." He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said to the queen, "since I was now her majesty's most humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continue to be my nurse and instructor." 我每天忙忙碌碌，不到几个星期身体就发生了很大的变化。主人靠我赚到的钱越多就越贪得无厌。我瘦得几乎就剩一把骨头了。那农民见我的情形断定我肯定是活不长了，就决定尽可能地从我身上多捞一把。正当他在那里这么盘算拿定这个主意的时候，从朝廷来了一个“斯拉德拉尔”（就是引见官），命令我主人马上带我进宫给王后和贵妇们表演取乐。有几位贵妇已经去看过我的表演，她们把那些关于我的美貌、行为和灵敏的感知等离奇事情早向王后做过了报告。王后和服侍她的那些人对我的行为举止非常喜欢。我双膝跪下，请求皇后赏脸准我吻一下她的脚，但是她们把我放到桌上之后，这位仁慈的王后却伸出小手指头来让我吻。我就一把抱住，以最尊敬的态度拿她的手指尖在我嘴唇上碰了一下。她问了几个关于我的祖国和我的旅行情况的一般性问题，我都尽量清楚简要地回答了一下。她问我是不是愿意住到宫里来。我鞠躬一直鞠到桌面，毕恭毕敬地回答说自己是主人的奴隶，不过如果让我自己来决定的话，能终身为王后陛下效劳我将感到万分荣幸。她接着就问主人是否愿意将我高价出售。我主人怕我一个月都活不到了，正巴不得把我脱手，就要了一千金币。王后吩咐当场就把钱给了他。每个金币大约有八百个莫依多（葡萄牙古金币）那么大。但是如果我们考虑一下这个国家的所有东西和欧洲的每一样东西之间的比例，再按照金子在他们那儿的高价来计算一下，这一千金币的数目几乎还不到英国的一千个基尼(旧英国金币）。随后我就对王后说：“既然我现在已经是王后陛下最卑贱的奴仆了，就请求陛下收下格兰姆达尔克立契。她长期以来一直都在照顾我，关心我。她很善良，也懂得怎么照料我，请允许让她为陛下效劳，继续做我的保姆和老师。”
Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow. 王后答应了我的请求。征得那农民的同意自然很容易，女儿被选入宫当然高兴，而那个女孩也掩饰不住她的喜悦。我的旧主人向我告别，说他给我找到了一个好地方，然后就退了出去。我一句话也没有同他说，只向他浅浅地鞠了个躬。
The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty, "that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in his fields, which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already found my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence." 王后看出我对他的态度十分冷淡，农民走出房间后就问我原因。我大胆地对王后说自己并不欠他什么情；要说欠他什么，也只是他没有将在他地里偶尔发现的一只可怜无害的小动物砸个脑浆飞迸罢了。他的这点恩情我如今已充分报答了他——我在王国内一半的地方演出赚到的钱和如今把我卖得好价钱。我跟了他以后过的生活实在太苦，足以折磨死一个体力比我强十倍的动物。一天之中每个小时都在劳苦地给一帮乌合之众不间断地表演供他们取乐，我的健康因此受到极大损害。要不是主人认为我已经生命垂危，陛下也许就买不到这么一件便宜货。但是我现在可不怕有什么人再来虐待我了，因为我现在受到了这么一位伟大而善良的王后庇护——她是大自然的美化，她是世界的宠儿，万民的福气，万物中的凤凰。我的旧主人担心我会死，我希望它的担心毫无根据，因为我感觉到，受王后陛下威仪的影响，我的精神已经开始恢复。”
This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court. 这就是我所说的话的概述。我说得犹犹豫豫，措词也有不当之处。后半段完全是照那里人特有的说话风格来说的，有些词句是我的小保姆带我进宫时我才学会的。
The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen after a cold manner "how long it was since she grew fond of a splacnuck," for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my breast in her majesty's right hand. But this princess, who has an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutore, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did in a very few words; and Glumdalclitch who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father's house. 王后特别能体谅我说话方面的缺陷，可她却非常惊奇这么小小的一个动物竟会这么聪明而有见识。她亲自把我带到国王那儿——国王这时已经进了内宫。这是一位庄重威严的君王。他第一眼都没有看清楚我的样子，就漫不经心地向王后说：“几时喜欢上‘斯泼拉克那克’来了？”因为我匍匐在王后的右手里，他还以为是一只“斯泼拉克那克”呢。但聪明而幽默的皇后把我轻轻地立在写字台上，命令我向国王作自我介绍。我就简要地说了几句。在内宫门口侍候的格兰姆达尔克立契是一刻也不能让我离开她的视线的，这时她被叫了进来，证实了我到她父亲家里以来的全部经历。
The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clockwork (which is in that country arrived to a very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received rational answers: no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of a court. 尽管国王非常博学，其程度不下于他领土范围内的任何一位学者——他研究过哲学，特别是数学；但在我开口说话之前，他看清楚我的样子，见我站直了身子在那里走路，还以为我大概是哪位天才巧匠设计出来的一件钟表之类的机械呢（这类机械在那个国家已发展到了极其完善的程度）。不过当他听见我的声音，而且我说话也正常合理的时候，不由得大吃一惊。当我把自己怎样来到他的王国的情形告诉他时，他却感到不大满意，以为是格兰姆达尔克立契和她父亲商量好了的一段故事。他们教我一套话，这样就可以把我卖个大价钱。他猜想着，又问了我几个其他的问题，得到的依然是有理性的回答。我只是说话带点外国腔调，用他们的语言不够纯熟，夹杂了一些在农民家里学到的乡下土话，与宫廷里文雅的风格不相称，除了这些以外，并没有什么别的缺点。
His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for the queen's favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only relplum scalcath, which is interpreted literally lusus naturae; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge. 国王陛下召来了三位这周值班的大学者。学者值班，听从国王召唤是这个国家的规矩。这几位先生先是仔仔细细地把我的模样看了一番，然后发表了关于我的不同意见。他们一致认为，按照大自然的一般法则，是不可能产生我这个人的，因为我生来就没有保全自己性命的能力——行动不快，不会爬树，也不会打地洞。他们非常精细地察看了我的牙齿，认为我是一头食肉动物。但是大多数四足动物都比我更强，像田鼠之类的动物又那么的灵活，他们无法想象我是怎么活过来的。除非我吃蜗牛或者其他什么昆虫，可他们又提出了许多有力的论据，证明我吃那些东西也是不可能的。其中有一位学者似乎认为我可能是一个胎儿，或者是一个早产婴儿。但是这种说法被其他两位学者否定了，他们看我的四肢健全而且精巧，活了也有好几年了——这从我的胡子上可以清楚看出，他们用放大镜可以清楚地看到我的胡子茬。他们不认为我是侏儒，因为我小得与他们国家中的任何侏儒都无法相比；就是王后最宠爱的侏儒——他在这个国家是最矮小的了，身高也差不多有三十英尺。他们争论了半天之后得出了一致结论，说我只是一个“瑞尔普拉姆·斯盖尔卡斯”，照字面意思讲就是自然界的怪物。这种决断方法正与欧洲现代哲学完全一致，那些哲学教授们蔑视不明事理就逃避的老办法(这正是亚里士多德的门徒企图用来掩饰无知的老法子)，所以就发明了这种可以解决一切困难的妙方，使人类的知识得到了难以形容的进步。
After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, "that I came from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty's subjects could do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen's arguments." To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying, "that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson." The king, who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a London bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent habit. 在他们做出这一决定性的结论之后，我要求说一两句话。我对国王说自己确实是从某一个国家而来，那儿像我这样身材的男女有千千万万。那里的动物、树木和房屋都跟我们身体的大小相称；由此可以推断，正好像陛下的每一个臣民在这里能够自卫、谋生一样，我在自己的国家同样也可以自卫和谋生。这也就是我对那几位先生的论点的全部答复。他们听了只报以轻蔑的一笑，说那农民把我教得真好。国王毕竟有见识，他辞退了那几位有学问的人，马上召见那农民——碰巧他这时还没有出城。国王先秘密地盘问那农民，然后又让他跟我和小姑娘对证，这才开始相信我们告诉他的很可能是事实。他要王后吩咐下去对我必须特别照顾，也表示格兰姆达尔克立契可以留下来继续做我的保姆，因为他看出我们俩非常投机。宫里给她准备了一间舒适的房间，指派一名女教师负责她的教育，有一名宫女给她梳妆，另外还有两名仆人给她做些下活，但是照顾我的事却全由她一个人承担。王后命令她的御用工匠为我设计一只箱子当寝室，至于式样必须征得格兰姆达尔克立契和我同意。那人的确是个巧匠，在我的指导下，只用三个星期的功夫就给我做成了一间十六英尺见方、十二英尺高的木头房子，有垂直拉窗、一扇门，还有两个橱子，就像伦敦式的卧室一样。用作天花板的木板通过两个合页打开或放下，王后陛下的家具商为我铺设的床就是从上面放进去的。每天，格兰姆达尔克立契亲手把床拿出来晾一晾，晚上再放进去，然后再加锁把我关在里面。有一名以制造精巧的小玩意而出名的细工匠用一种类似象牙的材料，给我做了两把带靠背和扶手的椅子，还做了两张桌子和一个盛零碎东西的柜子。房间的四壁包括地板和天花板都垫得厚厚的，以防那些搬运我的人粗心大意出了事故，而且我坐马车的话，也不至于被颠坏。为了防止老鼠闯入，我还要求他们在门上安把锁。铁匠试了好多次才打出了他们那里从未见过的一把小锁。就我所知，英国有一位绅士家门上的锁比这还要大些。我想把钥匙留在自己的一只口袋里，怕格兰姆达尔克立契会弄丢。王后又吩咐用能找到的最薄的丝绸给我做衣服。那丝绸和英国的毛毯差不多厚，穿在身上十分笨重，后来穿习惯了才好一些。衣服是照这个国家的式样做的，既像波斯服又像中国服，穿起来倒也庄重大方。
The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature: for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up, at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible a sight. 王后非常喜欢我陪着她，少了我她简直饭都吃不下。她吃饭时在饭桌上、左胳膊旁边摆一张桌子和椅子给我用。格兰姆达尔克立契站在地上的一张小凳子上，那个凳子紧挨着我的桌子，她帮着照料我。我有一整套白银盘、碟和其他餐具，和王后的餐具比起来，它们和我在伦敦一家玩具店看到的给娃娃房里摆设的餐具差不多大小。这套餐具由我的小保姆保管在她口袋里的一只银盒子里，吃饭时我要用她就拿给我，平常的时候她便亲手把它们洗得干干净净。和王后一起吃饭的只有两位公主，大的十六岁，小的那时才十三岁零一个月。王后总是把一小块肉放到我的碟子里让我自己切着吃。她非常喜欢看我这个小家伙吃东西，把这当成乐趣。王后的食量虽然不大，但至少吃下的也是十二个英国农民一顿饭的饭量。有一段时间，我看到她这样子不免要恶心半天。她能将百灵鸟的一只翅膀连肉带骨一口嚼得粉碎，而那翅膀就有九只成熟的火鸡那么大。她往嘴里塞一小片面包，也有两个价格十二便士的面包那么大小。她用金杯喝饮料，一口就喝一大桶多。她的餐刀有两把镰刀拉直了那么长。汤匙、叉子和其他餐具也都成相应的比例。记得有一次出于好奇，格兰姆达尔克立契带我去宫里看一些人吃饭——十几把像这样巨大的刀叉同时举起，我觉得在那以前我还从未见过如此吓人的景象。
It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become a great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and his judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me "whether I was a Whig or Tory." Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the main-mast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed, "how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as I; and yet," says he, "I dare engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour; they contrive little nests and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray!" And thus he continued on, while my colour came and went several times, with indignation, to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated. 按照当地的习惯，每周三（就我观察，这天是他们的安息日）国王、王后和王子、公主们照例要在国王陛下的内宫里一起会餐。如今我已是国王的大宠臣了，因此每当这种时候，他们就把我的小桌椅放在国王左手边的一只盐瓶跟前。这位君王很喜欢和我谈话，向我了解一些关于欧洲的风俗、宗教、法律、政府和学术方面的情况，我就尽我所知详细地向他说明。他头脑灵活、判断精确，我说什么他都能发表十分明智的感想和意见。不过我承认，一说起我亲爱的祖国，说起我们的贸易、海战和陆战、宗教派别和国内的不同政党，我的话就有点多了。他所受的教育使他成见极深，终于忍不住把我托在他的右手上，轻轻地抚摸我，然后一阵大笑，问我是辉格党人还是托利党人。他接着回过头去对他的首相说（首相手持一根白色权杖侍候在国王身后，那权杖差不多有“王权号”的主桅那么高），人类的尊严实在微不足道，像我这么点大的小昆虫都可以模仿。他又说：“不过，我敢保证这些小东西倒也有他们的爵位和官衔呢；他们建造一些小窝小洞就当房屋和城市了；他们用服饰和马车、马匹和随从来眩人耳目；他们也恋爱、打仗、争辩、欺诈、背叛。”他就这样滔滔不绝地一直说下去，把我气得脸一阵红一阵白。我那高贵的祖国文治武功都很优秀——它可使法国遭灾，它是欧洲的仲裁人，是美德、虔诚、荣誉和真理的中心，是全世界仰慕和感到骄傲的地方；这样一个伟大的国家，想不到他竟这样瞧不起。
But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this people, and observed every object upon which I cast my eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birthday clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our persons appeared before me in full view together; and there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual size. 但是我当时的处境是不能对这种伤害表示怨恨的，仔细考虑过后，我都开始怀疑我是不是受了伤害。因为几个月下来，我已经看惯了这个国家的人的样子，听惯了他们的言谈，眼中所见的每一件事物也都大小相称，起初见到他们身躯与面孔时的恐惧至此已逐渐消失。如果这时候我要看见一群英国的老爷太太们穿着华丽的生日服装，在那里装腔作势、高视阔步、点头鞠躬、空谈闲聊，说真的，我也很有可能要笑话他们，就像这里的国王及其要员笑话我一样。我也会忍不住笑话自己。王后常常把我拿在手里站在一面镜子前面，这样两个人在一起的样子就一览无余地出现在眼前，我就忍不住要笑话自己。我因此真的开始怀疑自己的身材是否已经比原来缩小了好几倍。
Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf; who being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in the queen's antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed; however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a further punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to favour; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment. 最使我气愤、最让我感到屈辱的莫过于王后的侏儒了。他是这个国家有史以来个子最矮的人（我确信他身高还不到三十英尺），可是当他看见还有一个比他矮得多的小家伙时，竟傲慢无礼起来。每次我在王后的接待室里站在桌上同宫里的老爷太太们说话，他总是摆着架子昂首走过我的身边，显得他很高大的样子，很少不说上一两句讥讽我矮小的话。每当这种时候，我只能报复性地喊他一声兄弟，向他挑战要跟他搏斗，或者说几句宫廷小听差常说的俏皮话。一天吃晚饭的时候，我说的一句话把他惹怒了，这坏小子竟站到王后的椅子上。我当时正要落座，没想到有人要害我，他一把将我拦腰抓起，扔进盛着奶酪的大银碗里，之后飞快地逃跑了。我连头带耳栽进了碗里，要不是擅长游泳的话，我很可能就要吃大苦头，因为格兰姆达尔克立契那时刚好在房间的另一头，而王后被吓得不知当时如何帮我才好。可我的小保姆还是赶忙跑过来救了我，把我提了出来，这时我早已吞下了半夸脱多的奶酪。她将我放到了床上。不过我并没有受到其他什么伤害，只是损失了一身衣服——那衣服完全糟蹋了。侏儒挨了一顿痛打，他们又逼着他把那碗我在里面打滚的乳酪喝了下去作为惩罚，以后他再也没有重新得宠。之后不久他被送给一名贵妇人，所以我再没有见到他。我感到很满意，因为如果不是这样，我真不知道这么一个坏小子还会怎样来报复我呢。
He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect, as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping. 以前他也曾对我玩过一次下流的恶作剧，引得王后哈哈大笑，不过同时她也确实恼了，要不是我大度替他求情，王后早就把他罢免了。那次，王后从盘子里拿了一根髓骨，敲出骨髓后又照原样把骨头直立在盘子里。那侏儒瞅准了机会，见格兰姆达尔克立契到餐具架那边去了，就爬上她照顾我用餐时站的凳子，两只手把我捧起来，捏拢我两条腿就往髓骨里塞，一直塞到我腰部。我卡在里边半天不得动弹，当时的样子十分可笑。我估计差不多过了一分钟才有人发现我出了事，因为我没敢大声喊叫，认为那样有失体面。不过帝王们很少吃滚热的肉食，所以我的腿并没有烫伤，只是袜子和裤子被弄得一塌糊涂。侏儒因为我替他求了情，只挨了一顿痛打，并没有受到别的惩罚。
I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual humming and buzzing about my ears. They would sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as mine, in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired. 王后常常嘲笑我胆小，总问我是不是我的同胞都和我一样是胆小鬼。事情是这样的；夏天里，这个国家被苍蝇所困扰；这些可恶的害人虫个个都有邓斯特布尔的百灵鸟那么大，我坐在那儿吃饭，它们就在我耳朵边不停地嗡嗡叫，吵得我一刻都不得安宁。它们有时落在我的食物上拉屎产卵，十分恶心。那些东西我看得非常清楚，但当地人就看不见，他们眼珠子太大，看小一点的东西不如我来得锐利。有时候苍蝇会停在我的鼻子上、前额上狠狠地刺我一下，苍蝇的气味也很难闻。我是一眼就能看到苍蝇身上那种令人恶心的胶状物质，据我们的生物学家说，由于他们身上有这种物质所以能把脚倒贴在天花板上行走。我费尽力气来抵御这些可恶的动物使自己不受侵扰，不过每次苍蝇飞到我脸上来，我还是禁不住要吓一跳。那侏儒是常常抓一把苍蝇，然后凑到我鼻子底下忽然撒手把它们放飞，就像我们这里的小学生玩恶作剧一样，存心吓唬我，讨王后喜欢。我的办法就是趁苍蝇在空中飞的时候，用刀将它们砍的粉碎，手段之灵敏令他们大为佩服。
I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a box upon a window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These insects were as large as partridges; I took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself. 我记得有一天早晨，当格兰姆达尔克立契把我连木箱一起放到窗台上让我透透空气， 晴天的时候她总是这样办的（我不敢冒险让她像我们英国人挂鸟笼子那样把箱子挂到窗外的钉子上）。我拉起一扇窗子，刚在桌子边坐下来准备吃块甜饼当早饭，忽然，甜饼的香味引来了二十多只黄蜂，它们一齐被那香味引来，飞进了我的房间，嗡嗡的叫声比二十几支风笛吹出的声音还要响。有的将甜饼一块块叼走，有的围着我的头和脸飞来飞去，闹哄哄地叫得我不知所措，非常害怕它们来螫我。好在我还有勇气站起来，抽出腰刀在空中向它们发起进攻。我砍死了四只，剩下的全跑了。我马上将窗户关上。这些黄蜂都有鹧鸪那么大，我拔出蜂刺，发现它们有一英寸半长，像针一般尖利。我将这些刺全都小心地收藏起来，后来曾在欧洲几个地方将它们以及其他一些稀罕玩意展出过。回英国后，我送了三根给格雷舍姆学院，自己只留下了第四根。